Make 2022 the year your Soul Aligned, not dead from hustle & grind
Why ‘Self-development’ is not Self- indulgent, why people do it, and what it can do for you! To what degree were the qualities of self-understanding and self-knowledge honored in your environment growing up? There are serious consequences involved with failing to develop your personal sense of self fully. Symptoms of a weak identity include:
Losing your sense of self in romantic relationships
Codependent tendencies (where your happiness is dependent on others being happy)
Enmeshment with your parents (difficulty separating your thoughts and feelings from your parent’s thoughts and feelings)
Inability to create strong boundaries (resulting in massive energy loss)
Scattered priorities (e.g. not knowing how to manage your time and energy)
Aimlessness and difficulty setting goals
Not knowing what you want to do with your life
Group mentality (i.e. tendency to create an identity based on an ideal held by a group of people)
Increased susceptibility to peer pressure (i.e. being pressured by others to do things that make you feel uncomfortable or aren’t authentic to you)
Empathy overload (empathizing too much with others that you lose yourself)
Social anxiety (feeling overwhelmed by others because you don’t have a solid identity)
Low self-esteem (weak identity + not knowing much about yourself = tendency to feel suspicious and doubtful of yourself)
Chronic low-grade to intense anxiety (due to not feeling at ‘home’ within yourself because you have a weak sense of self)
Feeling lost in life
The tendency to be taken advantage of by others
Living another person’s definition of “happy” or “success”
Disconnection from your true needs, desires, and dreams
Feelings of emptiness inside
Don’t worry I am not going to leave you feeling in a panic and depressed that you relate to the above symptoms, and tell you to come see me for a session…Although you CAN come see me for a session if you have any of these symptoms…..but Here are some Tips to overcome the above issues:
Be alone with no technology or distraction. Fear of being alone due to what will come up. All that you are repressing, and keeping busy to distract from, is exactly what you need to know so you can work on healing it. Things like not grabbing our phone for work or entertainment everytime your hands are free, no reading material on the toilet! Go for your walk alone without listening to a podcast, take yourself for lunch, tech and book free. Don’t reach for your phone or a TV remote as soon as you wake up, sit with your OWN thoughts at this time. You may be a dopamine addict and need a detox!
Art journal for those that can not journal with words who struggle to process their feelings or express them. Or standard journaling.
Set boundaries and say no when you feel your energy is reaching all that it can give. Bonus points if you can do this guilt free.
Stop obsessive goal racing, do more things that are purely for your own self nourishment and not action steps or contributing towards a personal goal or work/business. Stop the hustle culture that distracts you from yourself. It’s perfectly fine and healthy to have goals and aspirations, but know if they are truly for you, you will enjoy and appreciate every tiny step of the journey, rather than just fixating on the end goal or achievement.
Don’t let anyone try to tell you what you should be doing, feeling, thinking or striving for. It’s okay to say “no, that’s not me.” redefine what happiness and success mean to you, even if you thought it looked a certain way your whole life, it is ok to change course, it is never too late! Please identify and let go of any goals or morals that were forced upon you, family members voices echoing in your head, anything cultural or religious you were brought up with, that DOESN’T sit well with you, or that you struggle to ‘live up to’ often, and therefore induces self hate. Many of us went to schools where we were dictated to that your best life is; education, good grades, further education (get in debt while you're young and believe that to learn you must be taught), mortgage (from mort (dead) and gage (pledge)), marriage (because without a partner you are not whole, and unlovable by all) kids (you must reproduce, your weird if you don’t want to, please your parents and make the next generation of system slaves for the government to indoctrinate), chase that money bag! (finances define your success, if you aint rich you ain't shit! Be ashamed, be very ashamed! Bring yourself to burn out to afford those 2 week a year holidays, retire (probably with ill health through over work your whole life), die (with insurance).
Learn more about your personality - what are your likes and dislikes? What are your core values? How do you react in certain situations, and why? (These Whys are keys!)
It is not your job to care-take everyone, save everyone, or please everyone. Or even befriend everyone, some people just aren’t for us! If you have children, obviously you DO have to take care of their whole beings, but even in those relationships, it’s important you don’t try to ‘please’ them 24/7, and it’s even better to allow your children to see you actively following your dreams or fulfilling your life purpose! Think about the level of impact that has on them as a life lesson as it sinks into their subconscious.
Explore your passions, it’s ok to pick up and put down whatever whenever. A big part pre pre-programming that paves the way for procrastination, is all those parents and teachers that told us “if something is worth doing it’s worth doing properly”, combined with the pro hustle grind culture; It is ok to devote time and energy into things that that light up our souls, even if those things aren’t bringing us closer to becoming a millionaire!
Practice making your own decisions and trusting them. Even if the choice leads to something negative, congratulate yourself on choosing it of your own free will, and focus on the lessons you can learn from your mistakes. With every failure you learn more about yourself, failure or negative consequences, is not a reason to stop trusting yourself or to stop making decisions by/for yourself.
Come to my Crystal Coaching for Soul alignment workshop! I am so excited to be doing this in person this year rather than online. I created this as a self development workshop, but did not realize how much of a ‘healing space’ this opened up for participants either. If your one of those people that always intends to take time out to journal and create vision boards, but never gets round to it, I can’t think of a better excuse to come to this workshop. Commit to this time for yourself, you may realign your whole life direction afterwards! We will be working through a fabulous workbook, meditating, discovering and creating. And obviously exploring some crystal allies that can help support us through these developments.
"When you are in true soul alignment, the universe shows up with full support"